She whispered my name, having it sound like a moan. I reassured her that no one could hear her from down here, but she insisted on remaining as quiet as she could. I didn’t mind. It made the breaths we exchanged between kisses even heavier.
“You’re so beautiful,” I said as she bit her lip and smiled, pressing on my shoulder blades to lower me more down towards her.
I let my lips trace down her neck slowly as my tongue trickled along her flesh. She shuddered slightly, barely recovering as she rolled her body into mine. She was getting restless, and I loved working her up.
Her hips met mine with each thrust I made into her. I kept my pace slow and steady, yet went in with good impact. It worked her up so much. Little did she know, while I was on my elbows holding my weight over her, that it was taking everything in me to not collapse on top and come inside of her. But I couldn’t do it just yet. I wanted to see her body shudder to no point of return.
The grip in her legs started wavering and readjusting, which gave me an opportunity to penetrate her better at just the right angle. Now, I was in deeper, hitting the ‘on’ switch with a better touch than previously. Her teeth bit down on my shoulder, and I groaned as I felt her fingernails sink into my shoulder blades. Battle scars were a definite, once we would be finished.
The slickness exchanged from her entrance to my dick started sounding louder, proving that her arousal only grew with each thrust she met my own hips with. I couldn’t help but keep a bud in my mouth, working my tongue around her nipple and sucking on her flesh, making her curse incoherent words that only made sense to me.
I picked up the speed just a little as I felt myself throb inside of her. She clenched around me as well, moaning out in response, and in one, two, three, four thrusts, I was spent.
I released into her and let my face nuzzle in the skin of her neck as I groaned, “Fuck baby.”
Her back curved off the bed and I felt her chest press into mine, along with the perspiration we exchanged from our overworked bodies. We breathed unevenly, thinking about what we just did with everyone else roaming the house above us.
The grip in her right hand on my shoulder blade grew slack as she pulled my hair gently, signaling to meet her gaze. I complied, questioningly raising my eyebrows.
“Are they going to wonder why we missed lunch?”
I snorted as I kissed her nose, “We don’t have family lunches. But it would probably be safe and smart to show up for dinner.”
“So they don’t suspect anything.”
“Now you get the idea.”
She smiled as she reached out for my lips. Her skin felt so warm, soft, and right against mine, as if breaking apart would be anything but pleasant and satisfying. The tingles left on my lips weren’t even enough to fulfill the seeking pleasure only she could do justice.
“But you see,” I said, shifting my right hand so it tangled in her hair, “When you do stuff like that, it’s really difficult not to fuck you again.”
“They don’t call me ‘Lover Boy’ for nothing.”
She shook her head and playfully swatted my face, “Just go and take a shower.”
I slid out of her and went to the bathroom to clean up and redress myself. Some family was planning on making it over later, and I didn’t want to look freshly fucked in front of anyone. Especially Eleanor. It would make my mom already more suspicious than she already was.
Meeting her family was a success. Hanging out with her at my apartment had been amazing, as usual, getting to have her snuggled up into my body underneath the comforter of my bed. I was ending this year on a good note; a note that I never expected to write out and leave behind, taking the knowledge with me.
But meeting my family was the tricky part. Connor didn’t mind the idea of us; he knew right off the bat, and wouldn’t tell our parents. My dad, I knew, wouldn’t care much. But mom was a whole other story. If she even knew the age difference between us, she’d have a bitch fit that I was too old to listen in on. I couldn’t exactly blame her.
She’d always been a protective mother, someone to look out for me and the rest of the family at all costs. She’d been there through so many of my relationships and makeups, even some of the repeats I had given another chance by mistake, I would come to realize. Even at the age of 29 where I had every right and interest to be involved with whoever I pleased, it was still a bit awkward to tell her the situation, given where Eleanor and I were. Soon, if we’d ever get there, she’d know. Just not now.
And that was another thing. She said she would’ve loved you, just as I did. But what did that mean? Why was it spoken in past tense? Did she think of loving me, love me for a moment in her life, and pushed it aside because she knew it wasn’t possible to do that? I knew I was perhaps thinking crazy, but I only did because that’s exactly what I’d been thinking.
For now, it was safe to say that my parents, Eleanor, and I were on agreeable terms. They seemed to be fond of her, and I couldn’t blame them. That giggle that consistently exited her lips in an unexplained pattern was always so contagious that you couldn’t help but feel happy yourself, maybe even giggle along. Immediately after that, everything about her just seemed to catch your eye and never stray away from her.
The most beautiful part about it was that she wasn’t even aware of her own beauty. I liked that unawareness that you rarely found in anyone.
I gave myself one last look in the mirror after showering and was about to exit when Eleanor walked in, still nude in the light seeping through my curtains. Her arms wrapped around me from behind, with her fingers intertwining with each other and settling on my lower abdomen. Threatening to awaken my arousal once more. I let my hands lay on top, rubbing my thumbs in tiny circles on the back of her palms as her forehead pressed right where my tattoo was located.
“You done stealing me from the rest of the world yet?” I asked, smiling.
She giggled as she whined, “I can’t help it.”
I turned around in her hold, letting my arms wrap around her neck to bring her closer to my face, “I think they might get jealous.”
She rolled her eyes, “Please.”
“I don’t know…my mom was pretty excited since yesterday to make my favorite dessert.”
“Oh yeah, I completely forgot! I hope we get a tray of apple pie to ourselves!”
I laughed as I kissed her lips, “I think your inner fat guy is showing.”
“He comes out to play on the holidays.”
“Tell him to take a rain check.”
“But he might starve and die.”
“There are other ways of fulfilling his hunger,” I whispered, kissing right below her ear.
She sighed into my touch, “Unfortunately, he’s not gay.”
After I got done laughing, I stuck out my bottom lip, but she just captured it between her own teeth and bit down lightly. I groaned as she pealed back slowly, completely from my body, “Damn. You’re distracting me from getting dressed.”
“Well, you’re the one that distracted me from kicking you out.”
“Of my own bathroom?”
“Josh, sometimes you’re like a girl when you get ready. You spend forever looking at yourself.”
“Because admiring my own beauty is a bad thing?”
She laughed as she swatted away my hands, pushing me out the door as she closed it behind her. I got the perfect view of her ass for those three seconds.
I put on a pair of jeans, socks, and white t-shirt as I let my hair dry. I checked my emails and missed texts from friends, already making plans for after New Year’s. I had very few friends that were still single and loved to have fun in any way they could, even if it was a small occasion. Usually, I always took the opportunity to hang out and spare my boredom. This year was the first year in a while that I was quite occupied with something, and someone, more worth my time than just wasting it.
To start off the day, we were all going sledding on a hill at a park not too far from my house. Connor and I had done this ever since we were kids, and even still now that we were grown men, him with a fiancé named Pamela Cunnings he planned on marrying in the summer, we still enjoyed the tiny rush of falling out of the sled at the bottom of the slope.
Eleanor shrugged her shoulders and smiled when I told her the plans; she didn’t mind. We all got bundled up – Me and her, Connor and Pamela – while my parents cooked for the New Year’s Eve dinner we had every year, including some family members that visited for the holidays. Andre wanted to fly over, but all the holiday flights were booked as soon as he thought of it. He did, however, book a flight to visit in a week in Kentucky.
The drive to the park was roughly ten minutes long, with Eleanor driving her car and me giving her directions while Connor and Pamela followed us. We pulled up into the parking lot and got the sleds out of the trunk, climbing to the top of the hill just to fall continuously for a high that was going to last a good five to ten seconds – but hey, it was something to do, record, and laugh about later.
Connor and Pamela went first. Eleanor recorded them while we both laughed. Pamela rolled out of her sled and down the hill a couple times, her never being a coordinated person. Connor was always too eager for these things, the excitement written on his face as he pounded his fist in the cold air. Admittedly, I knew I probably mirrored the image of him and emphasized it ten times more.
Even as you age, the kid in you never grows old.
“Pam, now you’re just making me hunch over and fall,” Connor complained as they got up at the bottom.
She pushed him back down, laughing, “Oops, sorry baby!”
Connor propped himself up on his elbows, spitting the snow that has seeped some way into his mouth, “A little help here? Your fiancé is wounded.”
Pam laughed and said, “Okay, okay, sorry babe.”
As she gripped Connor’s hand to pick him up, Connor turned on his side and dragged her with him, having her shriek in response to the sudden turn in events. She laughed and yelled as he towered over her, kissing her nose lightly and not letting her escape as she plead, “Connor, get off!”
“Guys!” I yelled, “Hurry up before you scare the children.”
Connor got up, along with Pamela holding his hand as they walked over with the sled, smirking cockily and chuckling. Seeing my brother absolutely head over heels reminded me of an unvisited feeling inside of me; a feeling I haven’t allowed myself to make a visit. I then wondered, in that short time frame of milliseconds, if I actually wanted to feel that head over heels high that seemed once in a life time.
Eleanor and I went next in our own sled with Pamela recording us as we slid down numerous times. She sat in front, and as she stiffened like a board sometimes, I was guessing it was her first time ever sledding. So I gripped her shoulders and squeezed each time before we slid down, and she relaxed as she shrieked playfully. She was doing this for me, and I couldn’t help but feel as if I owed her. For something.
We all resorted to racing down the hill. Whoever won two of three times had to pay for ice cream at Dairy Queen. Needless to say, since Eleanor and I were so busy teasing each other about the snow burying in our hair and throwing snow at each other getting back up the hill, we lost.
The second time we went up the hill, she pushed me down playfully so she could get ahead in our little race.
“Hey, that’s not nice!” I got up and wrapped my arms around her waist, spinning her around to plant her behind me as I snuck in a kiss on the nape of her neck.
She giggled as she attacked my back after I turned away from her, throwing me slightly off balance as her arms wrapped around my chest.
“You can’t keep me away for long, Hutcherson,” She said devilishly in my ear.
I chuckled as I grabbed her thighs and started walking up, “I’ve never tried, because I know I’ll fail.”
This time around, she had sat in back of me while wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I gave Connor the look. We both nodded in assent, and went rolling down the hill.
With an original head start, him and Pam went rolling down the hill, but managed to crash into a bush that we all tried to avoid with a yell. Eleanor and I were sliding down next, the rush and risk of crashing into the bush and scraping our skin at the tip of our toes. I was able to stop us, but the consequence was me plummeting forward, out of the sled with her on my back, crushing my body on the snow covered ground.
“Ughhhhhh,” I groaned, “When did you gain all this weight?”
She sank deeper into me, responding to my question, “What did you say? That I’ve gained all this weight and it’s your fault?”
I turned around in her hold, grunting as my body moved the best it could in its captive state. I was face to face with a red nosed Eleanor, grinning at my expense. I scrunched my nose, “What can I say? I like a woman that eats.”
She rolled her eyes, “And that’s why you still complain that I raid your refrigerator.”
“You two lovers done yet so you can buy our ice cream?” Pam teased as she wiped the snow off her rear.
I pushed Eleanor off playfully, wiping her off while she wiped me off and said, “Let us buy the ‘loser’s’ their prize.”
Eleanor snorted, “You’re a sore loser.”
I nudged her side with my elbow, “Could you not admit that in front of all the little kids? I want to look cool.”
“You should’ve made the effort a while ago; it’s a little too late.”
“If only you knew how much you were going to pay for this later,” I whispered and winked as I began walking away with the sled. And I swear I think her breath hitched, but you couldn’t really tell with the other screaming kids arriving, waiting to sleigh down the hill.
We brought ice cream and went back to the house, lounging in the living room for a bit before heading off to the kitchen to see if any final preparations were needed before the party. My mom always invited a lot of people for New Years, so I knew I had to help out so her head didn’t explode from all the details still flooding her brain. It didn’t occur to me until then that Eleanor might not be up for all this.
Eleanor and Pam were talking to each other expressively, laughing most of the time than talking. I couldn’t help but smile to myself, feeling an unidentified feeling in my stomach. My right hand touched the silver anchor that rested on my chest, having it instantly chill my fingertips. Just when I was going to walk over, Connor gripped my shoulder and led me down one of the hallways to my old bedroom.
“What’s up?” I asked, a bit confused.
He shook his head, looked down at his feet, and began chuckling.
“You’re so obvious.”
“With Eleanor. I’m pretty sure mom can tell something’s up.”
I shook my head as my eyebrows quirked, “About her age or…”
“That, and the fact that your eyes never leave her,” He stated as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall.
“So what are you saying?”
He sighed, dragging his hand down the side of his face, “Look, all I’m saying is that I’m happy for you. I really am. She seems to make you happy and even Pam can tell. But you…you just have to be aware around mom. I know she’s open-minded and everything, but just be careful. I don’t want you getting bitched at for living your life. Granted, you’re old enough to make your own decisions, but still.”
I felt my shoulders slump as I sighed, “You think I should just tell her?”
“I mean, she’ll probably have a bitch fight, but that’s the best thing to do.”
“Maybe tomorrow. She has enough on her plate right now.”
We nodded in agreement, but before we returned to our company, he intercepted, “I just want to let you know that whatever happens between you and Eleanor that I’m very happy for you.”
I smiled and playfully punched him on his arm, feeling the approval of my brother made me feel easier about the whole circumstance.
Everyone got ready, and the guests started arriving. Pam had been part of the family much longer than Eleanor, so she was comfortable greeting everyone in the house as the rest of my family showed up. Eleanor, however, was in the kitchen, munching at a piece of apple pie my mom let her sneak on her plate willingly.
After greeting a few aunts and uncles, I signaled for Eleanor to walk with me in the hallway for more privacy. She glanced down at her plate, unwilling to meet my gaze until I spoke, “Look, I know you may not be comfortable, so we can just go downstairs.”
She shook her head, “Josh, this is your family. You may not get to see them again for a while.”
“But you’re not comfortable.”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?” I gestured, a bit annoyed I couldn’t fix the situation myself. If she wasn’t uncomfortable, then what could be making her so stiff and so mute, the complete opposite of the person she’s been since vacation started?
She shook her head, “I just…want to be alone right now.”
That’s when I saw the tears swim in her eyes. She blinked them away as she grinned, but I could tell they were on the verge of spilling out.
“Do you want to talk downstairs?”
She nodded quickly, her face already contorting and her hands shaking.
Quickly so that we went unnoticed, I led her downstairs and locked the door behind us. I set the pie down on my desk as we sat at the edge of my bed, her arms already wrapping around me and seeking my embrace. I wrapped my left arm around her while my right stroked her hair, the silk like strands distracting me from any of my suspicions getting the better of me.
I heard her sniffle as she forced herself out of my hold so she could look at me, but not so much where my arm couldn’t stay wrapped around. She began slowly, “I’m sorry for crying. I know I shouldn’t be because your family’s here and…”
“Hey,” I said softly, turning her chin so she could look at me head on, “Don’t be sorry for anything. You can tell me what’s bothering you when you’re ready. My family can wait. They’ll see me later.”
A couple of deep inhales and exhales escaped as she told me slowly, “I just miss her.”
I kissed her temple and let my lips stay there as she continued, “I never really get emotional anymore about it, but on the holidays, I just miss her…I wish she was still here sometimes. Wonder what it would be like if she was still here…”
“But you know that if she was still here, she’d want you to be happy, right?”
She shook her head slightly, “How can I when she’s not here?”
I took a deep breath, turned her face to mine as my thumb swiped under her eye and said, “Sure, she may not be here right now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself without her. She was your sister. She loved you and would want you to be happy with where you are right now. Not mourning for her when she’s done suffering.”
“I know,” She sighed and shook her head, “I appreciate you coming down here.”
“It’s never a problem, okay?” My lips pressed against her nose before they landed on her lips, “We can stay down here.”
She shook her head slightly, careful not to bump heads while our lips still toppled over one another, “I just want to stay here for a bit.”
“That’s fine. I’ll leave for a while and check up on your later, okay?”
She grinned slightly before nodding. I kissed her again; lingering and feeling her soft skin overpower the senses of my mind, making me lose track of everything happening around us for a moment.
After an hour of conversing with family members I hadn’t seen in months or years, Eleanor came upstairs and had a smile plastered on her face. I smiled and held her close to me, trying to look as friendly as possible but also trying to let her know that I wouldn’t leave her side for the rest of the night.
While we sat on the couch, talking to my dad about football, my five year old cousin kissed his ‘girlfriend’ that he brought along with him. We laughed in unison, in awe at the little kids and their shenanigans. Eleanor turned to me and quietly said, “You know, I’ve never had a midnight New Year’s kiss.”
“Really?” I said as I cocked my head. She nodded as I continued, “I guess we have to change that.”
She snorted, “Not in front of everyone.”
“At this point, I don’t care if they see or not. They deserve to know that you’re the one making me happy.”
Without any more protests, when everyone did our weird family tradition where half of us got poised with poppers to pop or drinks in our hands to rise when the New Year arrived, Eleanor and I hid in the back by the hallway, away from the glares and excitement that would overwhelm us. We counted down, and at the last few seconds, I made sure to stare at her lips. I needed to be sure I could catch her off guard.
And as soon as everyone yelled ‘Happy New Year!’ with their glasses clinking and their poppers sounding, our lips attached. The moment of separating was nonexistent. All that existed was her lips on mine, swiftly moving and fitting perfectly.
The only thing that was satisfying about breaking away from such a tender kiss was the way she looked at me. As if nothing else amazed her more but the sight of me.
I’d be lying if I said that all the risks I’ve taken for her weren’t worth anything.